Seduction at work without taking risks: To have a relationship with a colleague is to play with fire and to put some space where usually one piles his files … An enticing idea! Mistakes not to commit if you want to hope for a stable relationship with a colleague.
A relationship at work is braving the forbidden
Our behavior is not the same as we are in our workplace or at home: there are a hierarchy and dress codes to respect, colleagues with whom to maintain good relations. The prospect of a connection to work can, therefore, seem exhilarating and attractive: finally a little distraction!
To play with fire is to put some chili in where you usually pile your files, spend your days in a meeting. It is the taste for forbidding that makes things so tempting: exchanging intimate gestures at the risk of getting caught, kisses passionately in an empty conference room …
How do we know if the attraction is reciprocal?
Some signs do not deceive! If he (she) feels the same attraction for you, he will inevitably seek to be noticed. If your colleague is trying to make you laugh or show yourself in front of you, chances have you liked him.
Observe how he stands by your side. If you are nervous when you are approaching or if he is particularly tactile – touching the shoulder when you joke for example – these are signs that you do not leave him indifferent. Be careful, however, not to draw too hasty a conclusion. Also, see how his behavior differs from that he has with your colleagues.
The first step … yes, but when?
It is already tough to express to a colleague all the attention that is carried to him without that also you do not complicate the task to him! The opportunity to do so will not occur if you stay cloistered in your office all day or if you prefer to share your lunch break with your computer rather than with the people next door.
Go to the coffee machine alone; it will then be easier for a colleague to talk to you. Same for the photocopier, canteen or during the cigarette break. In these moments of relaxation, be a little different than behind your desktop by putting more emphasis on who you are and what reveals your singularity.
In short, enjoy it to show you in a new light, you suggest to him and you have a productive life outside the office! So avoid talking about folders, missions, and brainstorming. By evoking more personal things, you will create more intimacy!
The new means of communication, the seduction 100% discreet
In the office, you have only the embarrassment of choice: SMS, mail, instant messaging … all these means of communication allow to exchange with the coveted person in a fun and immediate mode, and especially: Of all eyes. With emoticons, for example, you can express your emotions without anyone noticing the maneuver. Sending a text message to your colleague’s personal phone obviously means that you are already close enough to him and that you already have his number. Your messages should be short and malicious, not to direct either. The goal is to arouse his interest for you and give birth to a little more than sympathy …
How to manage love at work?
Though it may seem difficult, one must know to strictly separate work and love. Your relationship should not infringe on your professional space. In the beginning, keep your relationship with yourself and do not talk about it. Who knows, it may not be a lasting relationship.
If you make a confusion between effects and work, you risk severely complicating your love story. Do not forget that in the office, your partner becomes a colleague like any other. You can not blame him for not being attentive enough, or talk too much time with other members … professionalism first and foremost!
Avoid showing your feelings in front of everyone. Do not stand by the hand, do not kiss her in the corridors, do not try to caress her arm discreetly … The office does not support the confusion of the genres between private life and public life. In the eyes of all, even if they are aware of your relationship, do not appear as a couple. Without this basic rule, you may generate some discomfort within the company.
Back at home leave your files and problems out of the office to finally enjoy the intimacy you have dreamed of all day long. Nothing is worse than talking about your work while you are already spending most of your time there. Here again, know how to separate the two!
Stay pro in all circumstances!
While you live your first few weeks with the loved one, stay focused on your work. Do not spend all your time chatting with him by mail. Do not either close a file so that you can both get out of office sooner. This will be noticed one day or another.
Staying professional also involves not flaunt your privacy within your business. Do not boast of having made a new conquest. Otherwise, your reputation will be seriously jeopardized.
Respect your hierarchical position, especially if you are in a seduction phase. If the coveted person is your superior, stay distant until you know if the attraction is reciprocal. If you are in a position of hierarchical superiority, do not abuse your status to seduce.
Finally, be wary, some people may seek to take advantage of your situation to get certain information or pass-rights. Do not forget that the professional environment is the place of all strategies … In the case of conflict in which your partner would be involved, do not intervene without professional arguments to defend it. Stay out of discussions if they do not directly concern you, your team or your service.
How to manage a break?
One of the reasons why you should think carefully before starting a relationship in your workplace is that in the event of a break, it is often difficult to approach your work as serenely as before. Of course, your morale at half-mast is your ability to work that will be affected. Fortunately, however, this is only temporary.
Where things get complicated is when you have to continue to have direct professional relationships with your ex. Difficult not to let rancor, anger, envy or hatred interfere in your working relationships. Small-mindedness can not only hurt your performance at both but completely ruin the team’s work atmosphere and cohesion. Needless to say, you should not ask your colleagues to take part or impose on them the delicate position of spectator facing the war, more or less open, that you lead with your ex.
So that everything goes well despite everything, be sure to judge the work of your ex objectively. Sometimes it is better to change service or position rather than continue to collaborate. Stay discreet about the details of your break rather than meditating without stopping on his back. You will only come out more honest and trustworthy in the eyes of all. Before you embark on any seduction business in your workplace, remember that you are registering in a particular context and situation.