Sex: the 8 best ways to prevent infidelity in a couple
It is better to prevent than to heal, teach us traditional wisdom. Moreover, even more so in matters of infidelity. Here is how to prevent your sweet half from committing the irreparable and deceiving you
1. Infidelity: How to prevent your lover or lover from deceiving you?
Can you or your partner be unfaithful? Studies show that between 11 and 35% of people living with partners cheat their partner. Moreover, no, there are not only men to do it! However, the experts say you would make better use of your time by finding ways to strengthen your romantic relationship rather than knowing at all costs whether your spouse is unfaithful to you.
“It is the feeling of loneliness, not sexuality, that is the primary cause of extramarital relationships and infidelity,” says Sue Johnson, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Emotions are always at stake. The few tips that we deliver here Sue Johnson and other experts, as well as love and wise love, will help you reconnect with your partner and to fuel the flame relationship.
“Have a loving gesture every day for your spouse: a simple caress has the effect of raising the levels of oxytocin, the hormone of love,” says Trina Read, a Calgary sexologist and author of Till Sex Do Us Part: Make Your Married Sex Irresistible. This is what Elisabeth, a woman from Toronto *, and her partner have understood: “When we are at a party, we exchange a little kiss or an affectionate caress when we sit next to each other,” She explains.
2. Find time to exchange and enjoy yourself
“Spending pleasant times together should be a priority for the couple,” says Beth Mares, Toronto psychotherapist. However, it is also important to discuss regularly the various aspects of everyday life, whether it is the tasks of the home, the education of the children or the relationship of the couple itself, she. Our obligations take so much hold that if we do not take the time to exchange, in the long run, small conflicts risk taking considerable proportions. “For some couples, it is enough to exchange one week to resolve outstanding issues, While others need more time.
“Every night when we are in bed, we talk about what happened during our day,” says Siobhan of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. It may seem simplistic, but it is surely not unrelated to the fact that we have been swimming in happiness for 16 years! “(One advice, however: your romantic date should not coincide with discussions about your own or collective problems; It is anything but aphrodisiac .)
3. The delicacy has a much better taste
This may seem obvious, but feeling unappreciated or depreciated can cause a person to infidelity or sexually or emotionally mislead his spouse, say our experts. A sincere compliment or a delicate thought that will delight her partner can lead away. We must also be careful not to be too critical; Keep your recriminations, as well as any topics your partner is sensitive to, for a planned discussion session.
“You should institute the rule that none of you will raise a problem that you can not resolve on the spot, for example, if you are in bed or about to go to work,” advises Beth Mares. Otherwise, the problem will not be solved and will cover. “There is often a bottom of truth behind pretty sarcasm and jokes,” says Naomi *, explaining why she and her husband avoid humiliating remarks, even in the form of a joke. On the other hand, if major conflicts do not seem to be resolved, you may want to consider consulting.
4. Reinvent your sex life
To prevent infidelity, create the sex life you desire. “People do not devote any energy to reinventing their sex lives; They have a two-week relationship that lasts about 16 minutes, and they expect miracles, “said Trina Read. A fulfilled sexual life first involves communication between partners, who must be able to exchange on their respective needs and desires. It also goes beyond the sexual act as such. Perhaps, basically, would you simply take a bath together or massage each other’s feet. (It is the case of Louise, of Oakville *: “Almost every evening, one masses the feet or the back,” she says.)
You could also talk together about sex gadgets. What matters is physical contact, open dialogue and a willingness to devote time to her sexual life. To revive a flame a little pale, Trina Read recommends couples to make love together for seven days in a row. “You will be surprised at the results!” She says.
5. Ask yourself why you like (or not) your partner
In a study at the University of Florida, researchers found that men who had positive thoughts about their relationship spent less time flipping through magazines looking for pictures of other attractive women. So, take the chance to appreciate what you have, as is the case with Louise: “Periodically, we take out the newspaper of our honeymoon and read it together while drinking a glass of wine; It brings us back to the first romantic days we have lived together. ”
Alternatively, think about what you dislike in the other and find a solution. “Maybe, at the end of the day, you will decide to continue the relationship, but only on the condition that things change,” says Beth Mares. If you are honest with this decision, it could be the first step towards a deeper and more loyal, while removing you from the temptations of infidelity.
6. A small slow, with that?
“From time to time, especially when we feel like we are losing touch, we light a candle, let’s play the room we chose for our wedding ceremony and dance in the dining room, sometimes even in front of the kids,” Says Claire. “Physical contact and the ability to look straight in the eye, all contribute to intimacy, communication, and desire, and therefore diminish the risk of infidelity and that one of them will see Elsewhere, “adds Trina Read.
7. Oxygen you!
This may seem contradictory, but having a reliable group of friends outside the couple can help to strengthen ties and prevent infidelity. “When you are too dependent, you expect more from your partner than you can give, which can only lead to conflict,” says Beth Mares.
8. Infidelity: In conclusion, it is essential to explore your relationship thoroughly
“It is when the emotional dimension of the relationship is lacking that we start looking elsewhere,” says Sue Johnson. You need to get back in touch, which means asking sensitive questions about recurring conflicts, and sharing your fears and needs openly. As she explains in her book, “to love, one must be attentive to oneself and the other. Knowing one’s needs and responding to those of one’s partner can help create a stronger, even indestructible bond. “