Prevent Infidelity: 8 Secrets to Preventing the Unpardonable
Discover the best tips and tricks from experts to better prevent cheating and ensure that you avoid the unforgivable in your couple.
How to avoid cheating in your couple?
Infidelity is much more extensive than was supposed. Studies show that between 11 and 35% of people living with partners deceive their partner. Moreover, no, there are not only men who are unfaithful! However, experts say you would make better use of your time by finding ways to strengthen your relationship rather than by asking if your spouse is unfaithful to you.
“It is the feeling of loneliness, not sexuality, which is the primary cause of extramarital affairs, said Sue Johnson, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations For a Lifetime of Love. Co A few tips from experts and knowledgeable lovers will help you better prevent infidelity, get back in touch with your partner and fuel the flame of your love relationship.
1. Prevent Infidelity: a little hug for the road?
“Have an affectionate gesture every day for your partner: a simple caress has the effect of raising the levels of oxytocin, the hormone of love,” says Trina Read, a sexologist and author of Till Sex Do Us Part: Make Your Married Sex Irresistible.
2. Find time to exchange and enjoy yourself
“Spending pleasant times together should be a priority for the couple,” says Beth Mares, Toronto psychotherapist. However, it is also important to discuss regularly the various aspects of everyday life, whether it be the tasks of the home, the education of children or the relationship of the couple itself, she. Our obligations take so much hold that if we do not take the time to exchange, in the long run, small conflicts risk taking considerable proportions. “For some couples, it is enough to exchange one week to resolve outstanding issues, While others need more time.
3. The delicacy has a much better taste
This seems obvious, but feeling unappreciated or depreciated can cause a person to sexually or emotionally deceive their spouse, say our experts. A sincere compliment or delicate thought that will delight her partner (e.g., a ticket for a hockey game rather than the classic box of chocolates or the bouquet of flowers ) can lead away. We must also be careful not to be too critical; Keep your recriminations, as well as any topics your partner is sensitive to, for a planned discussion session.
“You should institute the rule that none of you is raising a problem that you can not resolve on the spot, for example, if you are in bed or about to go to work,” advises the expert Beth Mares. Otherwise, the problem will not be solved and will cover. On the other hand, if major conflicts do not seem to be resolved, you may want to consider consulting.
4. Reinvent your sex life to prevent infidelity
It is not about taking pole dancing lessons (unless you want to), but perhaps even more courageous: create the sex life you want. “People do not devote any energy to reinventing their sex lives; They have a two-week relationship that lasts about 16 minutes, and they expect miracles, “said sex therapist Trina Read. A fulfilling sexual life first involves communication between the two partners, who must be able to exchange on their respective needs and desires. It also goes beyond the sexual act as such. Perhaps, basically, would you simply take a bath together or massage each other’s feet. (This is the case of Louise, of Oakville *: “Almost every evening,
You could also talk together about sex gadgets. What matters is physical contact, open dialogue and a willingness to devote time to her sexual life. To revive a flame a little pale, the sexologist recommends couples to make love together for seven days in a row. “You will be surprised at the results,” she says.
5. Ask yourself why you like (or not) your partner
In a study conducted at the University of Florida in April 2008, researchers found that men who had positive thoughts about their relationship spent less time flipping through magazines looking for photos of other women Attractive. So, take the chance to appreciate what you have, as is the case with Louise: “Periodically, we take out the newspaper of our honeymoon and read it together while drinking a glass of wine; It brings us back to the first romantic days we have lived together. ”
Alternatively, think about what you dislike in the other and find a solution. “Maybe, at the end of the day, you will decide to continue the relationship, but only on the condition that things change,” says Beth Mares. If you are honest with this decision, it could be the first step towards a deeper and more loyal.
6. A little slow with that?
” Physical contact and the ability to look straight in the eye all contribute to intimacy, communication, and desire, and therefore diminish the risk that one of them will go elsewhere,” adds Trina Read. From time to time, especially when you feel like you are losing touch, light a candle, play the room you had chosen for your wedding ceremony and dance in the dining room.
7. Get air to prevent infidelity better
This may seem contradictory, but having a reliable group of friends outside the couple can help to strengthen ties and prevent infidelity. “When you are too dependent, you expect your partner more than what he or she can give, which can only lead to conflicts in the couple, ” explains expert Beth Mares.
8. Explore the relationship
“It is when the emotional dimension of the relationship is lacking that we start looking elsewhere,” says Sue Johnson. You need to get back in touch, which means asking sensitive questions about recurring conflicts, and sharing your fears and needs openly. As she explains in her book, “to love, one must be attentive to oneself and the other. Knowing one’s needs and responding to those of one’s partner can help create a strong bond. ”
Why not do your part to avoid infidelity and have this article read to your partner? You have nothing to lose and many (foot massages!) To win.