How to deal with your children during a divorce
When a couple decides to legally separate, the couple no longer lives together, and the conjugal relationship is broken. However, the familial bond is preserved: they are no longer husband and wife but remain father and mother. To guarantee the well-being of the minors involved in this situation, we give you, on everything, a few recommendations on how parents should behave with their children during a divorce.
Allow children to see the other parent
Children still need a father and mother, even if they no longer live together. Both father and mother are necessary references and emotional attachments for children. Keeping in touch with both parents minimizes the feeling of loss and maintains a frame of reference.
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Do not criticize or at least denigrate the other parent.
Children need good parents and a healthy image of both parents. They will be able to develop their self-esteem through psychologically healthy people to identify with. Children are built on the one hand thanks to their mother and others thanks to their father. To denigrate one of the two parents is to speak of the evil of the child himself.
Stimulate your kids’ autonomy and independence
Being always after her child is an unhealthy attitude and has grave consequences on the development of the child. Do not try always to know what he is doing and do not follow him everywhere. Children should not become a substitute for your former partner. Nor is it to help them to ask them to stay with you because you feel lonely: you have to rely on your resources to move forward without creating dependency or guilt at home the child.
Your children are not judges
Do not place them in the judge’s position and share the details of your intimate life or separation from them. Do not question the behavior of your former partner in front of them and do not ask their opinion on the subject. Do not involve your children in adult problems. Children should always keep a good image of both parents: in the long run, they will appreciate it.
Avoid arguing with your former partner in front of your children
Discussions between adults should not involve children. It is not pleasant for a child to see his parents arguing, nor to see that the separation does not prevent them from doing so.
What you want to say to your former partner, tell him yourself.
Do not use your children as messengers. Say what you have to say orally or using other means (letters, e-mail …). Small sentences like “Tell your mother/father …”, “When you go home, bring me X, it is mine …”, “Look at what he/she has in The drawers … “put your child in a delicate position and ultimately move him away from you.
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