Preserving a couple when a man doubts his feelings: Your couple has been established for several years; you share a deep affection. Only, for a few weeks or even a few months, you feel your distant partner, “elsewhere.” He suddenly lacks tenderness, mounts more easily in silence and, on the whole, shows himself entirely unavailable. You have taken the first step: to become aware of the situation. How to approach the topic with your partner? Love Intelligence recommends you what to do or not to do in such a situation, to help your partner and save your couple.
Neither you nor he is “guilty” in this matter. Guilt is also a bad counselor. Be firm on your feet, and above all, try to keep your self-esteem. Entering into a reasoning such as “I do not know how to love him, I have disappointed him,” or, worse, “he no longer loves me because I have become ‘null’ in his eyes’ The opportunity to your partner to feel even worse seeing you as well.
Love is not a measurable quantity and can be engulfed by other emotions, less pleasant to live (fears, worries, concerns, confusion of feelings, etc.). Even if you want to challenge some of your attitudes, do not flagellate yourself unnecessarily, you risk falling into a negative spiral.
Accusing your partner of being in this condition, in the same way, will only further away you from each other. To take advantage of this clear passage to criticize his partner, to reproach him is especially revealing of a loosening of the powerful bond between the partners. To live a couple’s relationship is in no way an insurance against depressions or doubts, no more than a contract of obligation to make the happiness of the other. Sometimes it happens that one of the partners goes through difficult times: there is nothing more human and normal. It is not a fault: there is no punishment for it.
Suspect Your Man Of Infidelity
Many women find it difficult to cope with this situation. Social pressure or lack of self-confidence, they often assimilate this obvious disinterest to a cause: infidelity. Because their partner is no longer totally turned towards them, they do not think for a second that it can go through a painful moment … It is an equally anxiogenic attitude for their partner, who is confronted with a total incomprehension, And feels obliged to justify himself at a time when he would need support. This is not necessarily obvious, but it is nice to take on yourself and try to analyze the problem without overwhelming the other.
Alert the entourage
Talking to your friends, family, in-laws about this empty passage can be very poorly experienced by your partner. It concerns the private life of the couple, which concerns only him. The opinions and views of both parties will necessarily be biased according to their different positions. Their intrusion into the private sphere is likely to make exchanges all the more confused. Remember, there are as many stories of couples as couples, and you are the most likely, both, together, to work out a solution to get out of this bad pass.
Respecting his silence
How can one cross this delicate period for two?
It is in his love for his partner that his partner can find the resources that will enable her to manage the situation for both of them.
The desert is silent, and silence is sometimes very necessary. Being alone with oneself is recommended, recommendable, which means not that one no longer likes. Asking questions about her emotional bonds is not synonymous with dreaming.
The attentive and respectful presence of his partner allows the man to live this period without being guilty, without being overwhelmed by severe quarrels.
The more he feels respected in his withdrawal, the better he will experience these “wandering” moments in safety: the crossing will be shorter and will not be experienced as a disaster. Taking time to turn to oneself, his intimate life with oneself, in-depth is a good thing, even if it is not simple.
Remember also that a man likes to tackle his worries alone, to be able to settle them, and he will sincerely appreciate your support, silent but close, to which he can appeal if he decides.
To surround it with tenderness without invading it
The man who is going through a period of deep doubts about his feelings, his relationship, is a kind of apnea of feelings. The tenderness shown by his companion must be expressed only in a subtle way, to show his compassion and support. It is not at all, as sometimes, to give tenderness as if to mother it, almost to stifle it, waiting in return for its comfort.
No need to overdo it and accumulate small gifts or attentions. He might feel accountable. Simple things: a few gestures, attitudes, gentle and free, are often enough to restore a little balm to the heart to this man who no longer knows where it is.
Meaning that one is available if he eventually needs to speak, to exchange about what he is experiencing is a high mark of love and respect for his partner. To say it to her does not mean to ask her to do so – let alone demand it. He must know that it is possible, that is all.
Conversely, being available does not mean being at one’s disposal. For her companion, life goes on: she does not have to shut herself up with him in this difficult moment, which would not do him any service besides. Availability to speech is a state of mind, an inner attitude that he will understand very well and that he will appreciate. He may even, in due course, thank his partner for having so well understood.
Step by step, your man will come to the end of this journey alone, being sure to love you, the woman who will have respected him – who will have recognized his need for solitude and silence.