How to know if my spouse is possessive
The possessive people express a blatant distrust and an obsession with their spouse in need of control at any moment. Normally, behind this dominant, controlling and possessive mask is an uncertain person with low self – esteem, unable to love himself and to love his partner in a healthy way. Thus, someone who has confidence in him will also trust the person who is at his side and will not need to control it. Possessive people are toxic to the couples they claim to dominate, and they often end up turning the relationship into a sort of vicious circle that is emotionally exhausting.
1.One of the first signs that our partner is possessive is an unjustified jealousy. Does your fiancé become jealous when you stay with your friends? S / he wants you to devote all your time to be exclusive with him/her? He/she even goes away from your family? Possessive men and women feel jealous of anything that revolves around their partner if they are not part of it. Normally, this process is progressive: he/she will not be excessively jealous at the beginning, and this will come gradually.
2.Another sign that may indicate that our partner is possessive is a willingness to control everything. Possessive men and women need to monitor their partner at all times. They need to know where they are going, whom they have stayed with when they come back, what they will wear, why they go to a particular place instead of staying with them, and so on. Possessive people tend not to appreciate when their partners organize outings with friends where they are not a party, which can cause them to hate each other’s, friends.
3.This will to control does not stop with the constant questions intended to know the smallest detail: it also goes until the lack of respect of the intimacy of the other. Thus, possessive people tend to check their partners’ mobile phones constantly, social networks if they are present, messages, photographs, etc., looking for the slightest indication that they have been deceived, Or not, and making it possible to know each of its movements. And if it is a high degree of possessiveness, it can even go so far as to prohibit you from registering on social networks to avoid you talking with other people.
4.Having a possessive person as a spouse may involve having to change your hobbies and get away from the people around you because she will want you exclusively for her. This leads to conflicting relationships if the other person has a strong character, or to submissive relationships if he or she tends to be allowed to do so. In all cases, this is extremely toxic and the opposite of a healthy and happy couple relationship.
5.It is likely that she tries to introduce you to her circle of friends and family, to the point of making it your only social environment, to have you totally under control and make sure that you devote all your free time to her.
6.But what men and possessive women are capable does not stop there. It is possible that she is trying to change some aspects of your personality or even how you dress, hair or makeup. If you think about it for a moment, you will see that everything is linked. She wants you to adapt to her and dedicate yourself fully to your relationship.
7.If your partner has assaulted you physically or verbally, then this is a more serious problem and you should immediately seek help. Having a possessive partner and being physically or psychologically abusive are different things. Although the limit for a man and a woman between a possessive character and a tendency to abuse is rather vague, good judgment must be exercised. In case this happens to you, stop thinking that he/she can change and flee: you deserve someone who has esteem for you and who he loves you for who you are.
8.According to the experts, possessive people generate this feeling following an acute emotional dependence that faces the fear of losing the other and leads them to want to possess it to prevent it from happening. They need professional help in dealing with and controlling this problem.